So the votes are in from last night…

But first the nominees for the “Which way should I go to help sort out my insomnia?” category are…..

** Coffee (polite applause, mainly from the Latin American audience members): gets me up in the morning and keeps me going throughout the day, if I don’t have it, I get a migrane, so will find it difficult to cut it out completely. I’ve been drinking coffee for over half my life now and am absolutely positive it has not suddenly started to have an effect on my sleep. Besides I don’t drink it after 3 in the afternoon.

** Masturbation (wild cheering from the crowd): better than a sleeping pill and certainly more fun. As Dr. D said, “Masturbation, definitely! As Woody Allen said, it’s sex with someone you love ;-)”

And the winner is…

…. drum roll…..

MASTURBATION!

**applause,applause**

“Whoa. I’d like to thank the Academy for this. I have invited my fellow masturbators on the stage with me, and they’re here in solidarity with me because we like friction. We like friction and we live in fricticious times…..” etc etc

So…

Sorry… but I’d rather talk about wanking than the war…

NOTE: I have kept most of my earliest blog posts private. They are mainly crap. I have, however, tried to make live at least one from each month.