Holy Christ

First look at this photo. Only for a few seconds. Any more than that and you will start to lose serious brain cells.

Now. I dare you, I double dare you to keep looking at the photo after you press play on this:

Yes, that’s Peter Andre whine-singing through his nose at the very start… and then, about a minute in, when it starts to sound like someone sitting on the floor, terribly pissed after drinking too much Smirnoff hidden in her handbag whilst singing a fucking Disney song at a grubby karaoke bar, it is, in fact, Jordan…

Comments
17 Responses to “Holy Christ”
  1. Dave Medlo says:

    What does “I can take you wonder by wonder / over, sidewise and under” mean?

  2. Rockchild says:

    Dave, the song was from Disney’s cartoon movie “Aladin”

    In the cartoon, Aladin and a girl he loves named Aerial like in aerialplane were flying on a magic carpet while they both sang that song, which is one of my favorites because it reminds me of someone I will love forever.

    Thanks for posting this, Gia!

  3. Jas says:

    Oh dear oh dear.

    Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *hic* ooh I wet ‘em.

  4. ouch.. gasp.. they’re seriously killing me softly..

    and it seems that they are serious ?

    anyway it’s worse than Cameron Diaz in ” my best friends wedding” – and she was.. ACTING..

    isn’t the girl from Alladin called Yasmine ?

  5. Suw says:

    OMFG! It’s the Wonderwoman Wedding! Did she throw her tiara to disable the drunken party guest who was making premature moves on the cake?

    Jeeeze. Rule No. 1 for Picking A Wedding Dress: never pick a dress so wide it means your husband has to stand six feet away from you just to hold your hand.

    Whereas, Rule No. 1 for Weddings. Don’t sing. Ever.

  6. jas says:

    Rule No. 1 for getting married: never marry Peter Andre, he is made of plastic.
    Rule No. 1 for being human: never be Jordan, she really is made of plastic.

  7. jas says:

    oh, and the girl from Aladdin is called Jasmine. How annoying.

  8. giagia says:

    I haven’t been able to get this fucking song out of my head all goddamn day. >:(

  9. Caroline says:

    I really, no I mean REALLY thought it was a picture of Barbie and Ken.

  10. giagia says:

    I played this for Brian last night (both of us lying in bed with a Mac Powerbook each)… He couldn’t believe that it was real. He said *no one* could sing that bad…

  11. Gugon says:

    That was painful. Really, really painful. My left eye started twitching while I was watching that and it hasn’t stopped yet. I fear that I may have suffered permanent neurological damage.

    Thanks Gia. Thanks a lot.

    I don’t know who these people are, but I am absolutely convinced that the woman is a Barbie that was photoshopped into the image. Look at the extra long, narrow neck. And the position of the arm and the hand. And that big ring on the finger. I have two daughters. I know Barbie.

  12. giagia says:

    Nope, Gugon, she’s real… well, *technically* real. A lot of her is made of plastic.

  13. Andrew says:

    I agree with Gugon. When I first saw this, I thought it was a new “Ken and Barbie” doll set. Then when you warned against pressing Play, I thought maybe something was going to happen to the doll.

    When I heard the singing, I just cringed.

    Frightening!

  14. jas says:

    Oh god I wish I hadn’t followed the “she’s real” link. So… tawdry.

  15. giagia says:

    I actually think Jordan (Katie Price) is beautiful. Take away the overly processed bimbo hair-dos and the ridiculous plastic tits and there is a very pretty girl under there. Unfortunately she’s a total chavette.

  16. Mark says:

    It actually made me appreciate that Andre can hold a note without studio post-processing software and wizardry. It should be shot for that and yet … I liked it. A nice, real moment between two odd-but-harmless people.