:: gia’s blog ::

This whole BBC/Queen/Fakery/Blahblahblah thing…

From Broadcast Blogs:

Bless Me Father For I Have Sinned

It’s been a long time since my last confession but I fear my editorial judgement might have lapsed.

I have, on more than one occasion, used cut-aways that misrepresented the facts. I’ve included shots of presenters looking interested when they evidently couldn’t give a monkeys about what the person they’re talking to is saying and I’ve repeatedly made the excruciatingly dull seem interesting.

Once I showed people appearing to have fun at a party which, because a film crew was taking up most of the space in their tiny living room, had the atmosphere of a circumcision – you could have cut it with a knife. I’m sorry for making viewers believe otherwise.

Father, I have to admit my life as a television producer has been less than pure. I’ve suggested, by a deviant use of foreshortening, that it’s possible to paint a masterpiece in four minutes instead of the three days it really took and that you can cook a stunning meal without making a mess.

I’ve created emotional feelings in viewers that shouldn’t have existed, I’ve made people care about things that aren’t worth caring about. I’ve made presenters appear expert on subjects they know nothing about and seem lovely when I know they are arrogant, misogynistic pigs.

For all this Father, I am truly sorry. I should be whipped to within an inch of my life, because, God forbid that television should ever do anything less than tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Oh, and like Flog it, and every other auction that has ever been filmed, I too have used cutaways of people bidding for different lots. I know I shouldn’t make excuses Father, but it’s because with one camera you can’t film the bidder and the auctioneer at the same bloody time!

Oh and I’m sorry for swearing.

The writer was a freelance producer and series producer at the BBC for 12 years.

I can’t believe there is a single person alive who doesn’t realise that telly is fake… and if there is one media-unaware person left in this country, I want all of the of bosses at the BBC who are holding onto their jobs (while the lowly producers and APs are losing their’s) to personally explain to them exactly how. television. is. made.

Thompson. Fincham. If anyone needs to be sacrificed for this farce it should be you.