My original Wikipedia page (it was a birthday request and written by my blogging friends and commenters), before the editors there got all serious and deleted it:
Gia (born July 11) is neither Italian, Serbian or English – she’s a Minnesotan (short in stature, but loud, very loud) who came to the UK in search of fame and big-haired rock stars and settled for presenting on the telly, writing blogs, being married to Dr Brian Cox and being mum to Alex.
She loves cats, blogs, cat blogs, gently fondling her extraordinarily large but often well-hidden breasts and despite being a pale basement dwelling techno geek is a mean shot with a wine cork.
Gia has spent so much time connected to the interweb that her hands are immersed inside her computer’s innards much like a child’s fists in a vat of custard, and by wriggling her digits in that delicious cybergoo she can make all kinds of wonderful things happen. Of course, fondling one’s breasts while your hands are deep within electronic soup is a feat in itself, thus proving how amazing Gia actually is.
It is a little known fact that in the late 80s, Gia invented the Human Skull. Up until that point – although they’d never admit it – most people were just wearing a form of reinforced balaclava. 99% of humanity are still waiting for her to invent a kind of Human Brain to put inside it since theirs are a little bit rubbish.