Unfortunately, I’m not going to be in London this weekend otherwise I’d be there. I’d love to see ‘Sunshine’ in the cinema again. The last time I saw it on a big screen was at an IMAX After Dark screening.

I finished working on Sunshine when the DVD came out in the UK last September. I then had a bit of a physical collapse and needed to restructure everything again in order to not end up a complete wreck. So last autumn, I spent 6 weeks in bed. When I tell people this, they think I must have been depressed. Not at all. I was happy, but genuinely physically exhausted. When you do 7 days a week, 16 hour days for two years, you end up needing 6 weeks in bed. My colleague Stephanie at Fox in LA told me that would happen, so it’s not like I wasn’t expecting it. She said they’d suck my brain dry and leave me with very little left. And that they did.

Since then, I’ve been forcing myself to finish work at a normal time, taking myself offline, watching films or reading books, having weekends. I’m pretty much back to full strength now.

I’ve just found something that I wrote during the ‘Sunshine’ daze. I have no idea if it was for the blog or a messageboard post or what. Reading it back might give you some idea of the huge weight of the concepts I was living with during that time. No wonder I collapsed. :)

You are going to die.

Let’s just get that over and done with right now. You are going to die, your parents are going to die, your children are going to die, in fact, in just over 100 years, every single person alive today will be dead.

The lucky ones will, however, live on in the things they’ve created. Perhaps they wrote books, made films, wrote songs, started businesses, had children, donated their time, money, possessions to the needy. Through those creations, an element of that person will live on past their physical death. They can only live on in this way, however, if there are other people alive to make use of their creations.

One day, everyone will be gone. All human life will cease to exist. There will be no one left to read the books, listen to the music, watch the films created which attempt to explain, or even simply acknowledge, our existence.

Then what?

That two-word question is at the heart of ‘Sunshine’. In 2004, Alex Garland, read an article in Scientific American magazine about the ultimate fate of mankind which provided the initial inspiration for the film. The article talked about the death of the Sun as well as the death of the Universe.

According the current scientific knowledge the Sun is approximately halfway through its lifecycle. It is 5 billion years old and has another 5 billion years left to live. It will start its death throes by swelling up into a Red Giant the size of the Earth’s orbit. As the Sun will have lost a considerable amount of mass, the orbits of both Mars and the Earth may move far enough away in order to avoid complete annihilation, though the Earth’s water will be boiled away and its atmosphere lost. Life on Earth will cease to exist long before the Sun is completely dead.

After the Red Giant phase, the Sun will throw off its outer layers and become a White Dwarf star. It will then cool and eventually fade over billions of years.

Of course, if mankind hasn’t destroyed itself before then we should be sufficiently advanced to have started expanding out into not only our Solar System, but to the rest of the Milky Way Galaxy. If we’re lucky, we will have settled around much younger and healthier stars well before our Sun reaches old age.

Of course, those young, healthy stars will eventually age and die. We would then move to new stars. And when they start to die, we could move to new stars. This can’t, however, go on forever. Eventually the Universe itself will meet its end.

Up until a few years ago, scientists weren’t sure how exactly the Universe would play itself out. If there is enough mass, gravity will cause the Universe to collapse into a Big Crunch – the opposite of the Big Bang – when the gravitational attraction of matter in the Universe would slow, and ultimately reverse, its expansion.

A collapsing Universe permits a hypothetical scenario called The Omega Point. According to this theory, as the Universe ends in the Big Crunch the computational rate of the Universe will increase and accelerate exponentially faster than Time will run out. The Universe itself will be a ‘computer’ capable of running simulations which, internally, will seem to last ‘forever’ – despite the fact that the Universe itself has a finite end. Much like the Multivac computer in Isaac Asimov’s brilliant short story ‘The Last Question’, the Universe within the Omegy Point Theory could choose to ‘start again’. Let there be light.

If there isn’t enough mass in the Universe, however, it will simply continue to expand until space was so rarefied, all energy so dispersed throughout space, that no information could be exchanged or stored. Despite the fact the temperature of the whole Universe would be very close to absolute zero, this scenario is called Heat Death. At some point in the far, far future, both new stars and new galaxies will cease to be created. The ones that exist will live out the end of their lives, cooling and dimming for billions of years. In the end, the only light in the Universe will come from red and brown dwarf stars perhaps surrounded by the last remnants of intelligent civilisation hovering with a Dyson sphere – a mega-construction built around a star in order to capture its total energy output. Eventually, those stars, too, would die out. And then… nothing.

The Omega Point is a quasi-scientific, some would say pseudo-scientific or even theologic, theory dressed up with the terminology of physics. Basically, ‘The Resurrection’ of the Quantum rather than the Christ. As of this writing, all evidence suggests the Universe won’t end in a Big Crunch. We are destined to fizzle out.

Nothing will survive.

I was Pinbacker.

In the beginning, it was hot. Really, really hot. You know how hot the inside of your oven is? Well, that is a relative walk in the park compared to how unfathomably hot it was at the Big Bang. It was so hot that Time, Space, Matter and Energy were indistinguishable. Yea. Hot.

A second after the Big Bang things had cooled enough for quarks to form and combine to create protons and neutrons. After about three minutes some of the protons bonded to neutrons. Though it had cooled significantly, it was still pretty hot, about a billion degrees, which was considerably too hot for atoms to form. It stayed like this for about three or four hundred thousand years. During that time, not much happened, but the Universe continued to expand and cool down and after a while hydrogen and helium atoms formed. For another 300 million years there was just a sea of atoms. And Darkness.

As the Universe cooled, great clouds of gas started to condense under their own gravity and the first stars were created.

Let there be Light.

Credit: NASA

These first stars were very different from our Sun- they were larger, hotter and shorter lived. They created energy in the same way our Sun does, in nuclear reactions where lighter nuclei fuse together to form heavier ones. This process continues in a star until its core is composed of Iron. At this point, no more energy can be released. Stars cannot use Iron as fuel.

When the star runs out of fuel, the outward pressure created by nuclear fusion is no longer strong enough to act against gravity and within seconds the star collapses in a Supernova explosion. The energies created are so great that elements heavier than Iron can be created.

In a supernova explosion, the outer parts of the star are blown out into space at 20,000km per second. For a brief moment a supernova shines as brightly as the galaxy in which it happens. Eventually, all of the material created in the supernova is dispersed and will once again start to condense under its own gravity and create new stars. These, too, will eventually use up their fuel and die in a Supernova explosion. And so it goes on.

Elements lighter than Iron were created in Stars. The Iron in your car? Created in the heart of a star. The Iron in spinach? Created in the heart of a star. The Iron in the centre of a hemoglobin molecule in your blood? Created in the heart of a star. Your blood is red because the Universe was created.

Elements heavier than Iron were created in Supernova explosions. The mercury in your fillings? Created in a supernova explosion. The copper and nickel in your coins? Created in a supernova explosion. The gold or platinum in your wedding band? Created in a supernova explosion. The symbol of your Love for your partner exists because the Universe was created.

Who says Science is boring?

Here’s a short one which was pretty cool.

The Eye Of God

Eclipse photos: Wendy Carlos

“I look up. Incredible! It is the eye of God. A perfectly black disk, ringed with bright spiky streamers that stretch out in all directions.”
Jack B. Zirker Astronomer Emeritus Sacramento Peak – National Solar Observatory

Since the beginning of human civilisation, people have connected the Sun with the eye of God.

Animation credit: Robin Edgar.

The right eye of the ancient Egyptian sky god, Horus, was the Sun. In Hindu mythology Surya , the Sun god, is called the eye of Varuna the god of the heavens. The Persian Sun god Mithras was believed to be the eye of Ahura Mazda, the creator god. The Greek god Helios was the god of the Sun as well as the god of Sight, and was portrayed as an eye with rays surrounding it. The Japanese Sun goddess Amaterasu was born from the left eye of Izanagi, the sky-father creator. The chief Norse god, Odin, gave his eye to Mirmir in order to acquire knowledge. His remaining eye was the Sun and is all-seeing and all-knowing. On the back of the American dollar bill there is an eye surrounded by rays of light floating in the sky above an unfinished pyramid. This is the Eye of Providence. As I’ve written before, light itself has been equated with knowledge.

When you see an image of an eclipse it’s not too difficult to see why people believed the Sun was the eye of God.

When you look into the Sun, what do you see?

January

Me and Charlie Brooker

I was doing lots of stuff for Sunshine and Channel4.com, saw Ben Folds in concert, the Sunshine trailer was leaked by resourceful fans and I was interviewed for Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe.

February

/Cat blog

MASSIVE Sunshine stuff, loads of Channel 4 stuff, went to LIFT where Brian spoke and my Screepwipe interview was broadcast.

Watch Video

March

Danny Boyle on the Sunshine set

I know the photo above wasn’t taken in March, but the month was so freakin’ mental I didn’t take any photos. I was doing 7 days a week, 18 hour days mainly for Sunshine- press and bloggers’ screenings, press interviews, cast and crew screening, Manchester screening, messageboards, emails, IMDB, generally mentalness. There was also Channel 4 stuff, a discussion I took part in at the ICA, went to Cambridge with Brian who spoke at their Science Festival… and I’ve also got ‘Milton Keynes’ in my diary on the 16th. I’ve got no memory of what that was about at all.

April

Danny Boyle, Cillian Murphy, Brian

Another insane month. Sunshine was released, screening and Q&A with Danny at the Ritzy cinema, trip to Russia for the premiere, the 28 Weeks Later premiere… and I bought some ‘Sunshine’ props and costumes. :)

May

Tiger in my face

My Sunshine props and costumes were delivered. :) Was starting to get properly frustrated with the Channel 4 stuff, was weaning off Sunshine, I went to the Arthur C. Clarke Awards nominations, did a Social Media Club photo walk with Lloyd, went to Anna and Julian’s wedding and started looking at secondary schools for my son.

June

Brian at the Star Wars exhibition

Trying to get back into life and recover generally from Sunshine insanity. Sunshine was at the IMAX, spoke at Music Tank, Daywatch screening, more secondary school stuff (including an entrance exam… yikes!)

July

Me at the Gormley exhibition

Secondary school interview (yikes!), started on the Sunshine DVD release, bit of Daywatch work, David Hoyle started Magazine again… my son was offered a place at a secondary school (yay!)

August

Brian, Mo, Benny Wong, Cliff Curtis

Sunshine DVD release, 28 Weeks Later DVD release, Daywatch, more David Hoyle at Magazine… QR Codes.

September

QR Codes

QR Codes for 28 Weeks Later, interviewed about QR on various tv and radio programmes, my son started at his new school, I was invited to talk to the Nuclear Industry Association, recorded the Nature podcast sponsor stings, went to more David Hoyle shows, saw Prince’s final aftershow gig, got properly ill.

October

CERN

Still ill. Started working on a project looking at the Ageing Population, went to CERN twice – the first time with Kevin Eldon and Simon Munnery, the second time with Quentin Wilson- took part in a Nuclear Industry Association roundtable discussion, met Arvind from Slingshot Studios.

November

David Hoyle

Lots of meetings, dinners and lunches. Ageing Project roundtable meeting and dinner… And, of course, the wonderful David Hoyle.

December

My father came to visit, I attended the Juno bloggers’/Twitterers’ screening, fell in LOVE with ‘Juno’ (you’ll be hearing more about this), started Twittering (finally), went to see the King Tut exhibition, attended the Nuclear Industry Association annual dinner, my son had his birthday, recorded a Digital Planet with Gareth Mitchell and Bill Thompson, more talks with Slingshot Studios, David Soul…then…

…today.

After all that, I really need to rest over the next few weeks. I feel like I’ve still not recovered from my illness properly and still need to catch up on all of the sleep I lost last spring with Sunshine… My next 10 days will consist of POWER RESTING. I won’t do any work (except for watching the pile of screeners I’ve got), I won’t worry about whether or not I’ll have any work in the new year… I will just relax in the most hardcore way…

During filming at 3 Mills Studios, I carried my ‘office’ with me to and from work every single day. I looked like a techy bag lady.

One of my very favourite things was wandering around the sets which weren’t being filmed on. Here’s me sitting in the social area of the Icarus II, where Capa sits when he’s told he’s got to make *the* decision.

My Sunshine husbands were/are Damien…

…and Phil

They did the videos, I did the website. We sat next to each other, ate lunch with each other, made each other copious amounts of coffee, hung out together, stalked Danny together… the whole thing.

My actual husband was on-set regularly, too.

In between the moment Danny shouted ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, that is a wrap’ in December 2005 and the start of the post-production phase, there was the wrap party at which Benny Wong DJed.

The post-production phase went on and on and I didn’t see a single frame of the film until September 2006 – it started with a completely different character doing the voice over and was, in my memory, fairly different from the final film. Danny finished post in December 2006 and a couple days later was the first time the trailer was shown. This is Andrew Macdonald, on his Crackberry, in the screening room waiting to watch the trailer shown on a cinema screen for the first time.

Andrew is just the loveliest person in the world. I love him lots and lots and lots. And lots. He very kindly invited me to Moscow to the ‘Sunshine’ premiere. Here’s the two of us in Red Sq.

The Moscow Sunshine Boys…

Andrew, me, Brian and Danny all tarted up for the premiere.

Brian, Danny and Cillian (well, his back) ready to walk on stage.

And on stage…

I, of course, made a point of making sure my son met as many ‘Sunshine’ people as he could. He got Alex’s autograph though Andrew said he’d only sign a cheque… He also had a great time on set with Troy Garity (who was absolutely lovely with him)…

He got to meet Chris Evans…

…Cliff Curtis…

…Benedict Wong…

…and was a honorary Sunshine Boy for a day.

So now I’m finished with Sunshine… there’s not really anything left to do (whether or not LA will hire me for *their* DVD release remains to be seen…), so for the next wee bit I’m working on ’28 Weeks Later’… so you might want to get used to these.

First things first, as all of you Sunshine fans will have heard by now, the film is being released in the US and Canada on the 20th of July! Yes! Finally. I’m soooooo very excited. I’m hoping to be in the States then, too, so I’ll be able to go through the excitement of the release firsthand! Weeeeeeee!

Second, some of you will remember the podcast Brian did with John Barrowman recently, well, there’s a CERN Podcast website now which will have the podcasts, photos and information about all of the podcasts they do over the coming months. The next person going out there will be author Charles Jencks and then (perhaps) Alex James. He’s also asked Charlie Brooker, Martin Amis, Stephen Fry and Daniel Radcliffe…

It’d be really helpful if all you blogger types could link to the site using just CERN in the link in order to help get it up Google’s results. Heh. Press is starting on it next week so there should be loads of people listening to the John Barrowman one (well, more than the thousands and thousands of Dr. Who fans who’ve already listened to it!)…

I’m wearing an Icarus II uniform jacket.

And judging by my eye, I’m turning into a freakin’ infected (nasty and spoilerish).

Total DNA Dork.