About Me

The art blog I kept during my Foundation and BA is here, my Twitter is here, my Instagram is here, my film costume nerdery blog is here, my newsletter is here, my husband’s Twitter (because, let’s face it, you’re probably here because of him) is here and his website, of sorts, is here.

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I can see you.

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My most recent Artist Statement:

If I was writing this as a film script, I’d start with

EXT. THE FINAL BLACK HOLE AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE

but what would come next, DAY or NIGHT? All of the stars would have long been extinguished, the only faint light coming from the particles being radiated by the black hole. What would DAY or NIGHT even mean when there isn’t a planet left to spin on its axis nor stars to face towards or away from? Although maybe NIGHT would work best as it would clearly be pretty dark and we equate darkness with night. Besides, films aren’t documentaries. They are storytelling devices used to create emotions within the viewer. I can be lenient with the facts.

I’ll say ‘NIGHT‘.

EXT. THE FINAL BLACK HOLE AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE- NIGHT

A supermassive AI dedicates itself to recreating reality by collecting and sorting particles radiated from black holes in their death throes. The final particle needed to reconstruct my film is radiated out of the black hole and the AI gets to work.

It doesn’t know what it is rebuilding. It could be a Douglas Coupland novel. It could be a Joe Colombo ‘Smoke’ glass. It could be a red Panasonic R-70 Panapet radio. Each reconstruction provides ‘meaning’ in the universe once again.

The AI, having been constructed in an extremely advanced civilisation which had moved past a physical form, had spent its whole existence in an ethereal realm – all ideas and concepts and abstract thought- but this was something new.

Things. Stuff. Substance.

It reads stories. It waits 10^66 years for a novel to come out. Each one is full of descriptions of things it has never known. Sunsets. Roadside cafes. Haunted houses. Huey Lewis and the News. Conch shells. Support groups. Love.

After another 10^3 years, my film is reconstructed. The AI watches it with eons of experience behind it. It detects ‘love’. It detects ‘loss’. It detects ‘memories’. It detects ‘a particle pair split after one falls into a black hole, the other remaining particle longing to be with its partner again’.

The AI is content that its final work was to tell the story of that pair of particles once again.

Soon after that the universe was quiet and dark… forever.

This short film was inspired by this quote:

“Quantum mechanics implies that the whole of space is pairs of virtual and anti particles, filled with pairs of virtual particles and antiparticles, that are constantly materialising in pairs, separating, and then coming together again, and annihilating each other.

In the presence of a black hole, one member of a pair of virtual particles may fall into the hole, leaving the other member without a partner with which to annihilate.

The forsaken particle or antiparticle may fall into the black hole after its partner, but it may also escape to infinity, where it appears to be radiation emitted by the black hole.”

– Stephen Hawking, The Reith Lectures, 2016

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My original Wikipedia page (it was a birthday request and written by my blogging friends and commenters), before the editors there got all serious and deleted it:

Gia (born July 11) is neither Italian, Serbian or English – she’s a Minnesotan (short in stature, but loud, very loud) who came to the UK in search of fame and big-haired rock stars and settled for presenting on the telly, writing blogs, being married to Dr Brian Cox and being mum to Alex.

She loves cats, blogs, cat blogs, gently fondling her extraordinarily large but often well-hidden breasts and despite being a pale basement dwelling techno geek is a mean shot with a wine cork.

Gia has spent so much time connected to the interweb that her hands are immersed inside her computer’s innards much like a child’s fists in a vat of custard, and by wriggling her digits in that delicious cybergoo she can make all kinds of wonderful things happen. Of course, fondling one’s breasts while your hands are deep within electronic soup is a feat in itself, thus proving how amazing Gia actually is.

It is a little known fact that in the late 80s, Gia invented the Human Skull. Up until that point – although they’d never admit it – most people were just wearing a form of reinforced balaclava. 99% of humanity are still waiting for her to invent a kind of Human Brain to put inside it since theirs are a little bit rubbish.